What’s the Cost of Holding On?
Because leadership isn’t about carrying the weight alone… it’s about building teams strong enough to carry it together.
The Quiet Weight Leaders Carry
Most leaders don’t burn out because they’re bad at what they do.
They burn out because they won’t let go.
We tell ourselves we’ll delegate “when things calm down”… but if we’re honest, they never do. There’s always another deadline. Another fire to put out. Another “urgent” thing that only we can fix.
So we hold tighter. We carry more. We convince ourselves it’s easier, faster, safer if we just do it ourselves.
And for a while… it works. The plates keep spinning. The balls stay in the air. But the weight builds quietly.
It shows up in the late nights finishing “just one more thing.”
The endless overthinking and mental load.
The firefighting that never stops.
And one day, you look up and realise… you’re tired. Frustrated. Your calendar is full, but your impact feels thin. You’re getting wins on the board – but they’re probably not the right ones. Operational things are ticking over – but are you doing the work that you really should be? You wonder why no one else is stepping up… but deep down, you know they can’t …. not while you’re still holding everything.
“This is what happens when leadership is built on holding on, instead of letting go.”
My Own Hard Lesson
I’ve had to learn this one the hard way.
In my early leadership days, I was the classic bottleneck. I told myself I was “protecting the standard” or “saving time,” but what I was really doing… was getting in the way of my people.
I was the one approvals waited on. The one tasks circled back to. The one who carried too much. And the truth? That didn’t make me a better leader … it made me a tired one.
Letting go wasn’t easy. I had to learn how to trust and be vulnerable, how to step back, how to stop assuming my way was the only way. I had to get out of the way so brilliant humans around me could do their best work.
And every time I did… something extraordinary happened. They rose. They grew. We got stronger.
💬 “Leadership isn’t about being the hero. It’s about building the conditions for others to thrive.”
The Hardest (and Best) Leadership Lesson
One of the biggest lessons I’ve ever learned as a leader is this
👉 You have to develop and empower your people.
No one really teaches us how. Most “leadership training” is a title, a team, and a whole lot of good luck. So we default to what feels safest – doing it ourselves.
But real leadership isn’t about being the one who knows everything.
It’s about creating space for others to lead.
It’s messy. It’s uncomfortable. It’s deeply human.
And it’s worth it.
Introducing Delevate: A Different Way to Lead
I’ve spent years in coaching conversations with brilliant, capable, exhausted leaders. They’re not struggling because they can’t lead. They’re struggling because they’re carrying too much. They’re burnt out and not know how to start to change.
That’s why I created Delevate – a model to reframe delegation into something more intentional, more human, and far more powerful.
The Delevate Model maps a journey from control to trust
- Decide
Ask the hard questions first. Should we even be doing this? Could it be automated, simplified, or stopped altogether?
- Do
Focus on the mahi only you should be doing. Protect your energy for where you add the most value.
- Direct
Lead with clarity and intent. Give context, not just step-by-step instructions,
- Delegate
This isn’t about dumping tasks. It’s about transferring trust, responsibility, and ownership in a way that grows capability. Show people the “why” so they can own the “how.”
- Develop
Coach, guide, and share. True leadership leverage comes from investing in people so they can take the reins.
- Delevate
This is the shift. You step back. They step up. You move from doing to enabling. You elevate your leadership by creating space for others to lead.
“Delevate isn’t about doing less… it’s about creating more impact by letting go of what doesn’t need to sit with you.”
Why Letting Go Matters
When you hold on too tightly, you don’t just burn yourself out – you block growth for everyone else.
- You create dependency instead of trust.
- You limit capability because no one else gets the chance to learn.
- You keep the system small – built around you.
But when you Delevate…
✨ You protect hauora (wellbeing) your own and your team’s.
✨ You build capability and confidence that lasts.
✨ You create leadership ripple effects.
✨ You free yourself up to lead, not just manage.
The old script glorified leaders who carried the weight.
The future belongs to those who build teams strong enough to carry it together.
Leadership by Design, Not Default
This isn’t about doing more. It’s about leading differently.
Real leadership is designing for impact, not busyness. Creating cultures where people can grow, where trust is real, and where leaders stop waiting for “the right time” to delegate and start doing it intentionally.
That’s exactly what Delevate Workshops and Coaching are built for:
- Building capability without burnout
- Strengthening trust and hauora across teams
- Creating leaders who generate momentum, not dependence
- Rewiring how we think about power, trust, and growth in leadership
This is the future of leadership!
Ready to Delevate?
If you’re done carrying the weight alone… if you want to move from control to trust… if you’re ready to build extraordinary teams that can lead alongside you – I’d love to help.
🤝 Connect: DM me or email lisashaw@radicalhr.nz
🧭 Co-Design: We’ll build a plan that fits your world
🚀 Create Impact: And make it real… together
Because extraordinary teams aren’t built through control.
They’re built through trust, growth, and courageous leadership.
“I had to learn how to get out of the way of my people. If that resonates… maybe it’s time you Delevate too.”